How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman is a practical guide to mastering first impressions and forming quick, meaningful connections. Drawing from his background in photography and neuro-linguistic programming, Boothman shares simple yet powerful techniques to make people feel comfortable, heard, and interested. In a world where connections matter, this book gives you the tools to create them confidently.
Who May Benefit from the Book
- People who struggle with starting conversations
- Professionals in sales, marketing, or networking roles
- Individuals who want to build better personal relationships
- Introverts looking to boost their social confidence
- Anyone eager to improve their communication and charisma
Top 3 Key Insights
- First impressions are made in just 90 seconds, often before a single word is spoken.
- Eye contact, posture, and a warm smile can dramatically improve your likability.
- Building rapport starts with adopting a positive mindset and showing genuine interest.
4 More Lessons and Takeaways
- Mindset Shapes Outcome: Enter conversations with a clear goal and a useful attitude. Positive expectations lead to better interactions.
- Body Language Matters: Open gestures, facing your heart toward others, and subtle leaning in show you’re engaged and trustworthy.
- Names Build Bonds: Using someone’s name helps create a connection and makes the interaction feel personal.
- Rapport Can Be Designed: You don’t need to wait for shared interests to appear. You can create a bond intentionally with mirroring and matching tone, energy, and attitude.
The Book in 1 Sentence
Make people like you quickly by using positive body language, active listening, and a mindset geared toward meaningful connection.
The Book Summary in 1 Minute
Nicholas Boothman reveals that forming deep, meaningful connections doesn’t take long—just 90 seconds. You start before words by using open body language, maintaining eye contact, and smiling warmly. First impressions rely heavily on nonverbal cues. Once engaged, introducing yourself and using the other person’s name fosters familiarity. A positive attitude fuels better conversations and more authentic rapport. With clear goals and useful mental framing, you can shape every interaction into a success. Boothman’s strategies are simple but effective, helping people become instantly likable in any social or professional setting.
The Book Summary in 10 Minutes
The Power of First Impressions
First impressions often happen before a word is spoken. Within seconds, others make judgments based on how we look, stand, and behave. Boothman emphasizes the importance of “open” body language, which signals trust, sincerity, and confidence.
Key Elements of a Good First Impression
- Open Posture: Stand straight, face your heart toward the other person, and avoid crossing your arms.
- Eye Contact: Steady, relaxed eye contact builds trust.
- Smile First: A warm, genuine smile disarms tension and invites interaction.
How to Start a Conversation
Boothman offers a simple three-step framework:
1. The Greeting
Start with a confident “hello” or “hi” and a cheerful tone. Introduce yourself clearly, using your first name. Invite the other person to share theirs, and repeat it back to confirm and connect.
2. The Icebreaker
Make small, pleasant talk to ease into conversation. Comment on your surroundings or a shared context.
3. The Conversation
Move from small talk to more meaningful topics by listening carefully and asking open-ended questions. Show interest in what they say.
The Role of Attitude in Connection
Boothman highlights the power of mental framing. Your attitude influences your behavior, which influences how others respond to you.
Useful vs. Useless Attitudes
- Useful Attitude: Focuses on desired outcomes, such as building a relationship or helping someone.
- Useless Attitude: Centers on problems or fears, like avoiding awkwardness or rejection.
Positive framing makes you more relaxed, friendly, and present.
Building Rapport on Purpose
Rapport isn’t just chemistry—it can be built consciously.
Techniques to Build Rapport
- Mirroring: Match body language subtly.
- Matching Tone and Speed: Speak with similar energy and rhythm.
- Eye Movement Reading: Watch where someone looks when they think. This can reveal how they process information—visually, auditorily, or kinesthetically.
The Role of Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal cues often say more than words. Boothman identifies two types of body language:
| Type | Description | Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Open | Facing forward, arms relaxed, heart exposed | Invites connection |
| Closed | Arms crossed, sideways stance | Suggests disinterest or fear |
Use open gestures to show trust and willingness to engage.
The Science Behind Social Connection
Boothman backs up his advice with research. A Harvard study by Dr. Lisa Berkman found people with stronger social ties live longer and healthier lives. Connections affect everything from well-being to job success.
The 90-Second Formula
Boothman’s approach can be summarized in this practical flow:
1. Open Your Body Language
- Face heart-forward
- Maintain posture
2. Smile and Make Eye Contact
- Initiate the smile
- Relax your gaze
3. Make Verbal Contact
- Greet with your name
- Repeat their name
4. Match and Mirror
- Use similar tone, gestures, and pace
5. Stay Present with a Useful Attitude
- Focus on the goal
- Let your mindset shape your behavior
Real-World Application
These techniques apply in all kinds of scenarios:
- Networking Events: Approach confidently, smile, and engage others by name.
- Sales Meetings: Build rapport by matching tone and mirroring body language.
- Everyday Encounters: Use small gestures—like a smile or kind greeting—to make strangers feel welcome.
About the Author
Nicholas Boothman is a former fashion and advertising photographer turned communications expert. His career in photography gave him a deep understanding of body language and first impressions. Later, he became a licensed practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), combining visual insight with behavioral science. Boothman now teaches communication skills to corporations and individuals worldwide. He’s known for helping people enhance their influence and relationships through simple, actionable advice. His books focus on interpersonal effectiveness and connecting in both personal and professional settings.
How to Get the Best of the Book
Read the book with intent to practice each technique. Apply one lesson a day in your real-life conversations. Focus on posture, eye contact, and names. Over time, these will become second nature.
Conclusion
“How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” is a practical, research-backed manual for making powerful first impressions. Boothman offers tools anyone can apply, whether in casual chats or professional meetings. With awareness, the right attitude, and simple techniques, connection becomes easier and faster.