Exactly What to Say by Phil M. Jones — Summary and Key Lessons
Words shape decisions. In Exactly What to Say, Phil M. Jones presents a compact guide to persuasive communication using precise phrases that influence outcomes. Whether you’re in business, sales, or just trying to improve daily conversations, this book offers essential tools to shift minds and drive action.
Who May Benefit from the Book
- Entrepreneurs looking to close more deals without pressure
- Sales professionals aiming to build trust and increase conversions
- Leaders and managers who guide teams through difficult decisions
- Customer service reps handling objections or complaints
- Anyone wanting to improve communication and influence in daily life
Top 3 Key Insights
- Certain word choices bypass resistance and trigger subconscious agreement.
- Framing statements as questions leads others to think and engage differently.
- Confidence in delivering the right words at the right time boosts impact.
4 More Lessons and Takeaways
- “I’m not sure if this is for you, but…” lowers defenses and invites curiosity. It’s non-threatening and opens the door.
- “What do you know about…” invites self-reflection and reduces the urge to argue. It redirects the conversation constructively.
- “When would be a good time to…” subtly assumes agreement and moves the conversation toward action.
- “As I see it, you have three options…” presents a clear path and positions your offer as the logical choice.
The Book in 1 Sentence
This book teaches you simple, strategic phrases to guide conversations and influence outcomes with clarity, confidence, and ease.
The Book Summary in 1 Minute
Phil M. Jones reveals that success in conversations often depends on saying the right thing at the right moment. Exactly What to Say introduces “magic words”—phrases that speak directly to the subconscious. These words reduce resistance, increase receptivity, and steer conversations with subtlety. Whether you’re selling, persuading, or negotiating, the book helps you gain the confidence to lead discussions with intention. With practical examples and repeatable lines, it provides a toolkit for everyday influence.
The Book Summary in 7 Minutes
Exactly What to Say is built around small yet powerful phrases that shape big decisions. The book focuses on conversational framing—guiding someone gently to consider your idea, without sounding pushy.
The Power of Subtle Phrasing
Jones introduces “magic words”—phrases that prime people’s minds to respond positively. These aren’t manipulations. They’re prompts that make communication more effective.
H3: “I’m not sure if this is for you, but…”
This phrase works because it lowers the barrier. It removes pressure and makes people curious. You’re not forcing a pitch. You’re inviting exploration. It gently leads others to engage without fear of being sold to.
“Would you be open-minded about…?”
This question appeals to the human desire to be seen as fair and open. Refusing becomes a direct challenge to one’s self-image. It sets a tone of collaboration, not confrontation.
Triggering Curiosity and Thought
Jones emphasizes how the brain responds to specific kinds of questions.
“What do you know about…?”
This phrase creates an opening for discussion without making the other person defensive. Instead of contradicting someone’s belief, it invites them to explain what they think. This can reveal gaps or misunderstandings that you can then address with facts.
“I bet you’re a bit like me…”
This approach creates alignment. People tend to agree with statements that reflect common ground. It builds trust and eases tension in conversations.
Encouraging Action
Small shifts in phrasing can increase the likelihood of action.
“When would be a good time to…?”
This phrase suggests that an action will happen. It removes “if” and replaces it with “when,” which assumes agreement. It helps you book appointments, close deals, or set follow-ups naturally.
“I guess you haven’t got around to…”
When following up, this statement acknowledges busyness but still prompts progress. It softens the follow-up, making it less confrontational and more understanding. It encourages action without blame.
Managing Decisions with Confidence
People are more likely to act when their options are clear and limited.
“As I see it, you have three options…”
This frames your offer as the best out of several reasonable paths. It makes people feel they are in control while nudging them toward your preferred outcome. Instead of forcing agreement, you offer logic and structure.
Sample Framing
| Option 1 | Option 2 | Option 3 |
|---|---|---|
| Keep struggling alone | Stay in the same situation | Try this new solution |
You conclude with: “Which of those three seems easiest for you?”
Asking the Right Questions
Ending a pitch or meeting with “Do you have any questions?” puts pressure on the other person. Most feel awkward saying “no.” It may close the conversation prematurely.
Instead, ask: “What questions do you have for me?”
This sounds open and assumes curiosity. It gives the person space to ask real questions or continue the conversation naturally.
Building Rapport with Identity Statements
Jones shares how phrases that place people in identity groups can influence behavior.
“There are two types of people…”
This sets up a choice—either act or don’t. No one wants to be seen as the one who misses out or avoids opportunity. It taps into the human desire to make the right choice.
H3: “Most people in your situation would…”
This creates social proof. It reassures the listener that others like them have made the same decision. This builds comfort and reduces anxiety about change.
Using Contact Language Smoothly
Instead of asking directly for a number or email, Jones recommends using: “What’s the best number for me to contact you on?”
It assumes that you will be in touch, and positions it as a helpful follow-up. It feels less intrusive and more natural.
About the Author
Phil M. Jones is an internationally acclaimed author, speaker, and sales coach. He began his entrepreneurial career at just 14, running a window cleaning business. Since then, he has built a global reputation for teaching practical sales skills. His writing draws from real-world experience in marketing, sales training, and consulting. Jones has worked with large corporations and small businesses alike. His bestsellers include Exactly Where to Start and Exactly How to Sell. His mission is simple: help people become better communicators and succeed through simple, repeatable actions.
How to Get the Best of the Book
Keep the book handy for regular review. Practice one phrase at a time. Use it in real conversations. Notice the responses. Reflect and improve. Revisit the book monthly to refresh the techniques.
Conclusion
Exactly What to Say is a compact guide to using language for influence. Every phrase inside is practical and proven. Phil M. Jones doesn’t just teach you what to say—he shows you how and why it works. This book belongs on every communicator’s shelf. Use it to connect, persuade, and lead with confidence.